The Equinox
by SilentYume
Summary: I was sitting beside him in his bed. His face was already covered with cloth. 'He would never wake up again.' those were the words that my mind made me realize. Tears were pouring out of my eyes as I stroke his cold hands, I held onto it tightly, and I kept on breathing in and out. "I always needed him, and he was always there for me...!"


**Title: The Equinox**

**Prologue**

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**Warning:** This story will have** Implied Character Death**

It is told in a series of flashbacks

This is more of a **Brotherly Love** than **Slash**

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******Beta'ed By The Awesome : Tragic Guardian**

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**"I always needed him, and he was always there for me..."**

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I felt myself shiver as the cold wind brushed against my cheeks, my breath smokey in the frigid air. I rubbed my palms together and blew onto them as I walked along the street. The bright Christmas lights flickered in every store as I passed through and I could hear faint sounds of people singing songs of carol. I could see everyone around me rushing to get back to their homes, some of them were carrying their last-minute Christmas presents they were going to give to their loved ones.

_Breathe in, Breathe out_

I couldn't help but feel envious. They say Christmas is the time of giving and yet for me, Christmas was a dreaded and painful holiday. For Christmas time was the day something precious to me was taken away and so every year on the night of Christmas Eve, I mourned for that precious person that I could never lay my eyes upon again._  
_

_Breathe in, Breathe out_

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_"Brother.." A small voice whispered and echoed around the dark room of the hospital. I looked up and saw my brother smiling softly at me through his oxygen mask. He looked so frail lying in his bed with all those machines hooked up all over his body._

_"Is there something you need brother?" I asked as I brushed away a lock of hair that was covering one of his eyes._

_"I want to celebrate Christmas with you..." he whispered. "I want to go and eat lots of food and go sight seeing..."_

_"But, brother... your health..."_

_"Please?" He looked up to me with such pleading eyes that I couldn't say no. "I want to get out of here... It might be my last chance to go outside... " __I gave a pained smile as I kissed his forehead._

_"Okay, then. Let's get you out of this dreaded place and together we will go out and have fun!" I tried to sound cheery but my voice came out dry and dull. __I saw him looking at me with a big smile on his face and I knew I could never say no to him._

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I turned the corner and saw the gates of the cemetery. I walked through the gates, all the while passing graves and hearing my footsteps echo through the silence. The snow fell around me covering the ground in white and I couldn't help but think that it made my walk seem even lonelier.

_Breathe in, Breathe out_

I looked back at the times that we spent together. He was always with me when I went on my "adventures". He was like a shadow that was always by my side and not once did I hear him complain. He was always there for me and I couldn't help but wonder if in the times that he needed me... was I was there for him?

_Breathe in, Breathe out_

But, I knew that there was nothing that could be done now. It was already too late for regrets. There were times i'd imagine that when I woke up the next morning, everything would have been just a dream and that I would see him in the kitchen eating breakfast and scolding me that I woke up late again.

_Breathe in, Breathe out_

10 years had passed since then and yet, those memories were still fresh in my mind. I still feel like there was something missing inside of me... I feel so lost without him.

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_It was cold, but we were happy just by spending the day together. It had been so long since he was able to get out of the hospital. He lived half of his life in there because of his sickly body and I was glad to see the happiness bloom on his face._

_Suddenly a harsh cough broke through my musing. I turned around and saw my brother coughing, his breathing was labored and I could see his form was starting to tremble. I could already see that he was getting tired._

_"I think we should go back brother..." I urged as I held him close for warmth. "You're starting to get a fever..." __He shook his head as his wheezing ceased._

_"No... I...we're still not finished... " He looked up to me, his face starting to get flushed from fever. I could feel tears starting to form in my eyes. I wanted to say no... but, I just couldn't do that to my brother. "Please Thor..."_

_"Okay, brother..." I smiled as I ruffled his hair. "But, you have to let me carry you okay? So that you won't tire yourself anymore." __He nodded and I bent down so that I could carry him on my back. __"So!" I shouted as I tried to break the suffocating silence that surrounded us. "We should go and eat some dinner! I went to that restaurant that I saw in a magazine, I reserved us some seats. They say that they have great food there so I'm sure that we will enjoy ourselves!" I rambled. I could hear his breathing was starting to get heavier and lmore labored. "- and after that we should go to the square! I heard they were doing a Christmas Special presentation I'm sure you would like - "_

_"Thank you...Thor." H__is voice was small and I barely heard it, but it struck my heart more than anything else. I knew then that this was happening... and yet, I chose to ignore reality._

_"Ah, ah... don't worry about it. I'm your big brother! Of course I'll always be here for you!" I chuckled as I felt warm drops of water slide down on my cheeks. Was it raining?_

_"Yeah..." I could hear in his voice that he was smiling._

_"Now, where was I? - oh, yes! You should see the square brother! it is beautiful! there are- " __With that, I continued on rambling about everything and anything, just so that I could ignore the impending reality... and without noticing it, the snow started to fall once again._

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I felt my knees go weak as I fell down on the ground. The headstone before me was covered in snow, but I could still see the words that were engraved in it.

_Here Lies_

_Loki Odinson_

_"It is not length of life, but depth of life.  
He jumped into life and never touched bottom"_

_Beloved Son_

_Beloved Brother_

I stared at his grave stone and felt all my anguish flow through me like raging water. I keep repeating the words "I'm sorry" for I know that as long as I lived I could never say it enough. My mind was consumed with thoughts of him. Every memory - may it be sad or happy - flashed through my mind like a movie that keeps on repeating. The one memory that struck my heart the most was during that time...

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_I was sitting beside him in his bed. His face was already covered with cloth._

_**'He would never wake up again.'** _

_Those were the words that my mind made me realize. __Tears were pouring out of my eyes as I stroked his cold hands, I held onto them tightly, and I kept on breathing in and out._

**_Keep him warm... he needs to get warm..._**

_I felt my father's hand clasp my shoulders._

_"Thor... we should go now... they need to put him on the morgue..." __I shook my head and kept on breathing in and out. He's going far away... My brother is leaving me and I don't want him to be lonely out there... that's why I need to keep warming him up. Desperately, I kept on breathing in and out, ignoring the cries of my father and mother and everybody else around me._

**_Breathe in, breathe out_**

**_Warm him up..._**

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**_TBC_**

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**_A/N: Another Story! so, this is_ NOT A ONE-SHOT, but of course it depends on you guys if I should continue this story or not. Hope you guys like it!**

**Read and Review**


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